I write: Dialogue

In Week 5 we talked about dialogue and beats, with a quick review of narrative summary and theme. Our in-class exercise was to write some dialogue, based around the idea of True Confessions.  Initially we were to right just the dialogue, with simple tags, and we were instructed to write beats that fit in afterwards.   I don't follow direction well - when I write dialogue, the beats go right along with it.  So while everyone else was writing their beats, I just wrote some additional dialogue, and little internal monologue.

Here's what I wrote:

"Are you looking for something in particular?"

He looked up, clearly unaware that she'd been so close.  "Oh, uh... no."

"Are you sure, you seem lost."  She was uncomfortable with the way he looked at her.  As if he knew her.  She'd never seen the man before.

"I..." he started, but didn't finish the thought.  Becc waited.  "I'm sure you're busy, I'll come back."

Becc waved her hand around, gesturing to the empty store. "I'm not busy."

"Oh."  He looked around, as if just noticing where he was.  His eyes locked on hers again momentarily before dropping to the floor. "I'll just take, uh, this, then." He grabbed a book, seemingly at random, from the shelf, still avoiding her eyes."

"Okay, then..."  Becc turned quickly.

"Wait.  No, I ... " Becc didn't turn.  She didn't move. "I came to talk to you."  Becc weighed her options.  She could pretend she hadn't heard him.  Or she could turn around.

Becc turned, "I don't know you," she said slowly, looking at him more closely though she knew what she said was true.

He signed, and just as Becc thought he wouldn't speak, he said, "You do. I'm your father, Erin."

"My name is Becc."  Her mind whirled. "And I don't know you.  My father is dead, since I was three."

"He's not.  I'm not.  I know you thought that.  I hate that you thought that, but it's not true."  His face grew red; he was clearly convinced of his story.  Or trying very hard to convince her.   But Becc wasn't going to sway.

"You're not, he's dead. and so is my mother.  You need to leave."  She spun on her heel, her breath coming fast, her heart racing.   How could this be?  How dare he come in here with these stories?  She nearly slammed into the counter in her haste to put something between her and this stranger and his lies.

"Erin.  Please..." He hadn't followed her, but he seemed closer somehow.   She couldn't get away.   "Please, there's an explanation."

"No, I can't hear this.  Go.  Now!"  She turned her back, and sunk her head into her hands.  This was impossible.